24 February 2012


In the past, Lent is not something I gave a whole lot of thought to.  I grew up in a denomination that did not focus on Lent and while I occasionally gave something up, I never fully embraced the opportunity Lent presents to draw closer to God. 

"Draw near to God
and he will draw near to you."
James 4:8
In recent months He has been drawing me closer into his healing embrace.  I wrote recently on drawing near to God and it continues to be on the forefront of my thoughts this Lenten season.  That is why I chose to throw myself unabashedly into this thing called Lent and into the arms of my Father and give up something I depend on each and every day...caffeine. 

I am on day three without my BFF caffeine and this is the first day I can think coherently enough to write something.  I wasn't much fun the last couple of days (just ask my dear son), but this morning I awoke feeling clear-headed and headache free. 

As the days draw us nearer to Easter and I continue to draw nearer to God, it is my hope and prayer that He will change me.  I've felt stuck for so long, trapped in bouts of physical pain and cycles of depression.  It's been three years since my hysterectomy set me free from the physical pain but the ongoing emotional  struggles continue to hold me back.  I've made so much progress but I cannot do it alone.  It is only in throwing myself into His arms that I've begun to find healing.

In this time of Lent as I continue to lean into Him, I hope to move past the things that grip me and into the life He has for me.  I'm ready to let go of who I've been and step out in faith. 

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do:  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:12-14

Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead.  What a beautiful thought to carry with me this Lenten season as I draw closer to my Lord.  I was not created to live in bondage but to live in Christ.  God is bigger than my bipolar and He created me for more.  I will always need to be proactive in managing my emotions but I'm ready to move past being controlled by them.  That is why I am giving up caffeine for Lent.  In fact, I just may be giving up caffeine for life.

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